The Day That Was: May 29, 2007

Kobe backs down from previous statements
Clarifies Bryant: "I didn't say I wanted Jerry West to GM, I said I wanted him to replace Smush Parker."

Lakers owner arrested for DUI while driving gold station wagon
Admits it's all a ruse to try and become cellmates with Paris Hilton.

LeBron ties up the Eastern series with help from rookie Daniel Gibson
Seen signing fresh talent for Game 5 at local elementary school playgrounds, Mike Brown warned Eric Snow to be careful on the monkey bars.

Greg Oden to appear on Topps cards with Bill Russell
Shattered dreams of Celtics fans to be randomly inserted into one in ten packs.

Armando Benitez balks home tying run, Mets win in 12
Cub reporter Charles Schulz with the recap:


Sox win again as returning Beckett reaches 8-0
The bored pitcher announced that he's pitching his next game lefty.

Bonds predicted to hit #756 against Arizona on June 29
Asterisk manufacturers everywhere prepare for a rush, calling it "Christmas in June."

New calls for drug testing on the PGA
Critics cite Michelle Wie's new moustache.

NFL PA asks Goodell for a reduction in Pacman Jones' suspension
Michael Vick also submits appeal before being reminded he hasn't been suspended yet.

Andy Roddick upset at French Open
Luckily, millions of Americans continue to watch because they don't realize Federer is a foreigner. (Just kidding! Nobody's watched tennis since 1983!)