The Day That Was: June 22, 2007

Junior goes back to Seattle for the first time tonight, I hope he gets a good response from the fans. He really saved that franchise and was nothing short of incredible in his prime. I can't believe he's 37 already. Also, there's a great pitching matchup in San Diego: Dice-K vs. Maddux (who is a top 5 pitcher I've ever seen). That's the game I'll watch tonight. Round 1 of the NHL Draft is tonight, enjoy; I know I will. Now, The Day That Was:

Jason Giambi agrees to meet with steroids investigator
But he will only talk about the benefits of investing in collateralized securities within the efficient market hypothesis.

Rangers owner suspects Juan Gonzalez was on steroids
The state asked him to put those skills of intuition to good use, making him chief detective of Arlington, Texas.

Larry Johnson prepared to hold out
Grandma-ma is delighted to get back in the news any way he can.

...oh, THAT Larry Johnson?

Oakland A's send Milton Bradley to Triple-A Sacramento
And they called up both of the Parker brothers.

KG nixes trade to Boston
He was gung-ho about the trade for weeks until someone explained to him what Black Irish meant.

Padre's fan makes it rain at ball game
Bet you didn't know Pacman was a Pad's fan.

Pacman Jones turns himself in to Las Vegas police
I thought I knew you, Pacman, what happened to you? I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Jason Taylor disses Trent Green
His pal Terrell Owens told him to deny it, say he was misquoted

Jason Taylor denies quote
Like duct tape, works every time.

Nick Barnett arrested for shoving a woman at a nightclub
Barnett was traded to the Bengals two days ago.

Tejada continues his consecutive game streak with a single at bat
Cal Ripken rolled over in his grave.

16 year old girl marries her high school track coach
Only in North Carolina...it's not the home of NASCAR for nothin!

A monkey will throw the first pitch at tomorrow's Red Sox game
Seriously, it's not George W.

Tank Johnson pulled over for "DUI Impaired to the Slightest Degree"
Was that slight impairment simply being Tank Johnson?

We couldn't have said it better:

"Okay Paul, I knew your name. What's my name?"
"Mini Me, dawg."

-Paul Pierce meeting Verne Troyer, not knowing his name

Honarable Mention: the funny Roger Clemens movie. How likely is this to happen? Why can't I find anywhere to place a bet on this?

The Day That Was: June 6, 2007

The Phillies won 2 straight from the Mets and we're one day closer to both LeBron-ionship Game 1 and football season- so it's a good day for Hit Some Dingers. Wily Mo will send in his next piece any day now, he's a little late since he's starting and everything- big ups to Wily Mo. Now, on to The Day That Was:

Jerry Bruckheimer in talks to bring expansion NHL franchise to Vegas
If anything could get us to watch hockey, it would a team called the "Las Vegas Tits and Explosions."

Nadal still perfect at the French Open, 19-0
His trick? Just argue with the umpires, they're happy to surrender.

Selig wants Giambi's help in roids investigation
Claims Giambi: "When I said 'I was wrong for doing that stuff back in the nineties,' I was talking about the macarena."

Dolphins plan to trade Culpepper
Says a none-too-disappointed Culpepper, "Surprisingly, the boat parties were better in Minnesota."

Clemens set to debut on Saturday
After weeks of tense contract negotiations, Clemens' groin ends its long holdout.

Kevin Durant cannot bench press
It's okay, though, Greg Oden tripped over his evening gown.

Anaheim wins
Ecstatic Ducks players announced plans to bathe in a Stanley Cup full of national indifference.

Arizona repeats as college softball champs
And their pitcher repeats in my fantasies.

Ozzie says steroids investigators target Latin players
Marco McGuire and Jesús Giambi agree.

This banner could cost Ohio millions

The banner is still considerably less offensive than its predecessor:

We couldn't have said it better:

"He called me 'brother' and I called him 'brother'. We forgive each other, and we're back on track."

- Carlos Zambrano, during his audition for Brokeback Mountain, after fighting Jake Gyllenhaal. Michael Barrett will catch Zambrano's next start in Houston.