The NBA Draft

I've been avoiding this draft like the plague. I didn't make a mock draft, I didn't watch youtubes of any prospects, and I didn't use the ESPN Trade Machine once to figure out how the Sixers could get Kevin Garnett. Continuing with that theme, here are some quick hits on the NBA Draft, as only Hit Some Dingers can do them:

1. Oden was the obvious number 1. You ALWAYS take the franchise center. It's like doubling down on 11.

Trent: Ladies, don’t you always double down on 11?
Girls: Always. No matter what. Like splitting aces.
Mikey: …yea, whatever.

2. Kevin Durant and Jeff Green: 2012

3. When the Bobcats drafted Brandan Wright, the commentators joked that he could take the man that drafted him, Michael Jordan. If MJ can't take a kid with braces, I renounce my love of basketball.

4. If Yi Jianlian puts on a Bucks jersey, GM Larry Harris may become Enemy Number 1 of the Chinese government.

5. Thaddeus Young is the steal of the lottery. Al Thornton will be a bust.

6. I CANNOT WAIT for the Zach Randolph in New York era. Huge potential there, HUGE.

7. In what other league is it acceptable to trade picks for cash at this volume?

Miami gets: Daequan Cook, a 2009 second-round pick and cash
Philadelphia gets: Jason Smith

Portland gets: Rights to No. 24 pick (Rudy Fernandez)
Phoenix gets: Cash

Philadelphia gets: Rights to No. 42 pick (Derrick Byars), cash considerations
Portland gets: Rights to No. 30 pick (Petteri Koponen)

Seattle gets: Future second-round pick and cash
Houston gets: Rights to No. 31 pick (Carl Landry)

Orlando gets: Cash considerations
Houston gets: Rights to No. 54 pick (Brad Newley)

Dallas gets: Rights to 44th pick (Reyshawn Terry)
Orlando gets: Rights to 60th pick (Milovan Rakovic), Cash considerations

Cash was involved in half of all draft day trades. Isn't that a lot?

8. The Bulls front court now has more hair than Annika Sorentam's upper lip
+

=

9. Don't get your hopes up, Boston. Ray Allen is good, but is Ray Allen and Paul Pierce really much different than Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis? Best-case scenario: The Celtics make a playoff run, they lose in the conference finals. That's the best case. Bad case: the C's still suck. Worst case: the Celtics make a playoff run, Danny Ainge trades Gerald Green and a first round pick for a mercenary veteran, and they still lose in the conference finals.

10. Does anyone else think its funny that the Cavs didn't have a single pick in the draft? I guess not, LeBron doesn't need any help anyway.

There's everything you need to know about this year's NBA Draft from top to bottom, everything there is.

Also, congrats to Frank Thomas on his 500th Dinger.

The Day That Was: June 22, 2007

Junior goes back to Seattle for the first time tonight, I hope he gets a good response from the fans. He really saved that franchise and was nothing short of incredible in his prime. I can't believe he's 37 already. Also, there's a great pitching matchup in San Diego: Dice-K vs. Maddux (who is a top 5 pitcher I've ever seen). That's the game I'll watch tonight. Round 1 of the NHL Draft is tonight, enjoy; I know I will. Now, The Day That Was:

Jason Giambi agrees to meet with steroids investigator
But he will only talk about the benefits of investing in collateralized securities within the efficient market hypothesis.

Rangers owner suspects Juan Gonzalez was on steroids
The state asked him to put those skills of intuition to good use, making him chief detective of Arlington, Texas.

Larry Johnson prepared to hold out
Grandma-ma is delighted to get back in the news any way he can.

...oh, THAT Larry Johnson?

Oakland A's send Milton Bradley to Triple-A Sacramento
And they called up both of the Parker brothers.

KG nixes trade to Boston
He was gung-ho about the trade for weeks until someone explained to him what Black Irish meant.

Padre's fan makes it rain at ball game
Bet you didn't know Pacman was a Pad's fan.

Pacman Jones turns himself in to Las Vegas police
I thought I knew you, Pacman, what happened to you? I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Jason Taylor disses Trent Green
His pal Terrell Owens told him to deny it, say he was misquoted

Jason Taylor denies quote
Like duct tape, works every time.

Nick Barnett arrested for shoving a woman at a nightclub
Barnett was traded to the Bengals two days ago.

Tejada continues his consecutive game streak with a single at bat
Cal Ripken rolled over in his grave.

16 year old girl marries her high school track coach
Only in North Carolina...it's not the home of NASCAR for nothin!

A monkey will throw the first pitch at tomorrow's Red Sox game
Seriously, it's not George W.

Tank Johnson pulled over for "DUI Impaired to the Slightest Degree"
Was that slight impairment simply being Tank Johnson?

We couldn't have said it better:

"Okay Paul, I knew your name. What's my name?"
"Mini Me, dawg."

-Paul Pierce meeting Verne Troyer, not knowing his name

Honarable Mention: the funny Roger Clemens movie. How likely is this to happen? Why can't I find anywhere to place a bet on this?

The Day That Was: June 20, 2007

I went to the Reebok Royal Flush Collection launch at Bodega today. The shoes aren't anything special but I met Gerald Green and got a picture, so all in all it was pretty awesome. As a Philadelphia native I am legally obligated to dislike the C's, but Gerald Green is nasty. I hope they trade him to Minny with Al Jefferson and their pick so I don't have to worry about the future Celtics anymore. Congrats to Sammy Sosa and Ken Griffey on their dinger milestones, and on that note, on to The Day That Was:

Cub's Barrett traded to Padres
Where he gets a whole new pitching staff to fight.

Pacman faces two felony charges
Finally, a felony story that doesn't involve Michael Vick!

The Ryan Leaf story is making its way to the big screen
Leaf: An Almost True Story will run as a double feature, right before Manning: Hall Of Famer Who Just Won A Ring.

Mike and Mike and Mike head second MNF team
The guy who wrote that Mike, Mike, and Mike ESPN commercial demands royalties.

Gumbel calls Upshaw "the league's biggest embarrassment"
Upshaw calls Gumbel a racist

BYU track star arrested for attack with mop
That is actually the trademark finisher of another BYU alum, Saturn.

Vin Baker arrested on DUI charge
He met with Jerry Bus at the famous Foxwoods Casino to discuss his candidacy for the GM position should Mitch Kupchek resign...or disappear. Buss only had a 0.8 BAC going, so Baker offered to drive home.

NASCAR to rename top series Sprint Cup
This is the third name change in four years, the NASCAR Cup Series has more monikers than a member Wu-Tang Clan.

The Day That Was: June 19, 2007

I'm trying to get into full baseball mode for the summer, but the upcoming NBA Draft and all of the trade talk that comes with it is drawing my attention elsewhere. KG to the Celtics scares me, he would be so great there. The TWolves too- Mike James/Bassy Telfair, Randy Foye, Gerald Green, Al Jefferson, and the 5th and 7th overall picks in the draft. That's an allstar team in 5 years. Unfortunately for Minnesota, that trade makes way too much sense to actually happen. KG and Kobe possibly moving to the East is pretty interesting, either one of them could win the conference. With almost any team. But enough rumors, time for real hard news: The Day That Was

Committee disbars Duke prosecutor Nifong
He plans to run for mayor of Durham, reach out to black voters.

Chris Cooley wears girls shorts to practice
It looked like one of those Will Ferrell sketches gone horribly awry.

Lalas calls MLS "on par" with English Premiership
Of course, the MLS is hitting from the ladies tee.

Javon Kearse pops up in rap video

Is that Brett Ratner's place? I think I saw Johnny Drama in the background.

Bengals' Quincy Wilson arrested after wedding party
FOX plans special all-Bengals COPS episode.

Police looking for Pacman
Time for video game joke #4391: "Wanted for questioning about the murders of Inky and Pinky."

LaVar Arrington gets in motorcycle accident, retires
A surprised Terrell Owens reportedly asked, "Wait, we can do that?"

Fights break out at Packers camp
Aww, that's adorable.

American Jewish Life Magazine: Jews should like the Red Sox
In response, American Muslim Life Magazine found several reasons for the Islamic community to support the New York Yankees, including this:

Yankees sign two Chinese teenagers
Not to be outdone, Red Sox sign five Cambodian "tweens".

Kobe rants on his own website
He also posted an angsty photo to his myspace. If this all happened thirty years ago, this would have been the most dramatic scene of a Will Smith movie.

We couldn't have said it better:

"That's fine. If he wants to come, he can come and sit on the bench with the others."

- Jeff Garcia about the prospect of Jake Plummer joining the QB competition in Tampa Bay

Honorable Mention, only because it's a long clip and not a quote...Elijah Dukes!
He called into the same radio show his wife did a few days ago, that is what transpired- thanks to The Big Lead for the story.
Elijah Dukes goes batshit crazy

The Day That Was: June 16, 2007

Sorry it's been such a long time since the last Day That Was, the NBA has been busy, yet un-newsworthy, and the headlines have been a little slow. We'll move towards baseball until football season starts, and hopefully get right back into the swing of things as summer goes on. If you're really lucky you might even get MORE than one post a day. Cross your fingers... but until then: The Day That Was

Pacman not connected to Vegas incident
Finally, after years of searching, a crime that Pacman Jones had nothing to do with.

Chris Henry in more trouble
Sure, Chris Henry helped beat up a 16-year-old, but to be fair, that 16-year-old was Amobi Okoye.

Andre Rison is broke
MC Hammer is jealous, already looking for a way to make money so he can go broke again.

Kobayashi might skip Coney Island Classic
This is our best guess as to why:

Mike Nolan allowed to wear suits for home games
For away games? Clown suits. Made by Reebok, of course.

Tom Coughlin wants less talk and more football
He would also appreciate a decent running back, a quarterback who missed less time for being grounded, and something besides a goddamn tie for father's day.

Paintball to the crotch during team-building activity sidelines rookie LaRon Landry

Their team-building woes didn't end there - Marcus Washington tore an ACL during trust falls.

Sammy Sosa hit a grand slam
A picture is worth a thousand words...

...and 599 homers.


We couldn't have said it better:

"With my witty charm, great body, and pivotal role in the film 'Airplane!' I could have become governor."

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, we would have voted for him.

Your NBA Champion San Antonio Spurs

First, congratulations to the San Antonio Spurs for winning the NBA Championship. Regardless of the facts that they played one of the weakest Final teams in recent history and got a freebie against the Suns, the 2007 Spurs are one of the strongest team’s I’ve ever watched. In addition to that, Tim Duncan had one of the best playoff runs ever. In the final series, however, Tony Parker overshadowed him. Parker really stepped up in the final series, leading the Spurs in points and controlling the floor from the point. He deserved the MVP.

I don’t really want to think about this season or the playoffs any more than I already have. Instead of rehashing the best moments of a boring season, I’d rather look forward towards what lies ahead next season.

1) Greg Oden and Kevin Durant
I don’t want to buy into the hype too much, rookies rarely have a huge impact on a team. In spite of that, I’m really looking forward to what Kevin Durant can do at the highest level and how old Greg Oden looks next to Alonzo Mourning. They could probably pass for brothers. Greg being the older one, of course. Greg Oden is huge and could definitely do some damage as a rookie. Remember, his right hand will be all better by the time the season starts.

2) LeBron
It’s only going to get harder for LeBron as the comparisons to MJ pile up and he continues to fall short. Until LeBron can get out of Jordan’s shadow, which he easily never could do, LeBron will face the harshest criticism. It will be interesting to see how he handles the pressure. I really do hope he breaks out, the sooner the better. I just don’t see it happening any time soon. LeBron needs a shakeup like Steve Nash when he shaved his head after winning his first MVP and getting nothing to show for it.

3) Kobe
I am very interested to see what happens with Kobe. Wherever he ends up becomes and instant contender and a must-watch team. If the Lakers trade him and get a solid package in return, they could even stay watchable. Kobe is the best scorer in the league by a long shot, and any movement he makes significantly impacts the entire league.

4) The Western Conference
The West is so incredibly dominant compared to the East. The Mavs, Suns, Warriors, Rockets, Spurs, Blazers, Nuggets, and the Lakers/whatever team with Kobe are all incredible teams to watch. Each team has a legit star and a strong to solid supporting cast. There are even a few good teams that just miss the cut: the Hornets, T-Wolves, Sonics, and Jazz. They are all watchable teams and if any of them play eachother I’ll be tuning in. The east only has three good teams: the Bulls, Cavs, and Wizards/whatever team with Gilbert Arenas. If David Stern can figure out some way to make squeeze two West teams into the NBA Championship, he will truly be a genius in my book. Iverson and Melo together for a whole year should be exciting and T-Mac finally getting a point guard (Mike James) will finally be able to play to the best of his ability. Also, I want to see what happens with Leandro Barbosa. He has the speed to tear a team up for a full 40 mins.

As excited I am for Portland being a possible playoff team, I’m pretty disappointed that Oden and Durant are both going to the West. The East needed some young talent, and the league needs a little more parity. Not just that all teams need to be even, but the bad teams need to get better. A team of the Cavaliers’ caliber should be above average, not winning a conference.

I want to end this post by reminding everyone that the NBA can be fun. It was not that long ago. Here are a few youtubes to remind everyone just how amazing the NBA is.

Those are all great ones, moments like that do happen in the NBA and even if only half of the league has good teams, there are plenty of stars to count on for performances like that. Hopefully LeBron rises to his expectations and becomes one of those stars. I didn't enjoy the NBA Finals because the Spurs played down to the Cavalier's level and did enough to win by 10 points or so every night. In spite of the obvious lack of parity, I look forward to the next NBA season, looking forward to even better moments than the past has given me.

Two basketball commercials I wanted to post, I think they both sum up some of my most central basketball-related thoughts and feelings.:





Sorry I went kinda nuts with the videos, but it was all for good purpose.

The Day That Was: June 10, 2007

It was a long, stressful weekend for Hit Some Dingers. The NBA Finals continue to disappoint and Curlin didn't win the Belmont. At least this post added a little bit of joy. I'm sure it comes to no surprise that the Rocky series ranks close to tops on my all-time favorites list, so these first two headlines made me very happy... even if they are from the last two. Without further ado: The Day That Was June 10, 2007.

Antonio Tarver regains IBO light heavyweight title
Sylvester Stallone begins planning a Rocky spinoff.

Tommy 'Gunn' Morrison wins MMA debut with 1st round KO
After the fight his opponent John Stover was heard mumbling, "Hey Tommy, I ain't hear no bell."

Arenas to opt out of deal after next season
He wants a larger contract with medical, dental, and hyperbaric coverage.

DerMarr Johnson tased and arrested
Allen "Jewels" Iverson quickly signed him to a four-album deal.

Curtis Martin reworks contract
It includes a team option for his retirement in the upcoming season.

Nadal wins 3rd straight French Open
Federer vows to emulate Nadal more in the future to win on clay: deeper lobs, more topspin, and wearing capris.

Lewis Hamilton becomes first black driver to win F1 race
You see, white people drive like this, but black people drive like this.

Reuben Patterson fined for not registering as a sex offender

He was charged in 2005 after a reportedly non-consensual interaction with Kobe Bryant in a Colorado hotel room.

Spurs win game 2
Amazingly enough, between the Finals, the Sopranos finale, and the Tonys, we'd all have been better off with a little musical theater.

Bruce Bowen has a baby
Jealous for his wife's attention, Bowen stepped on the back of the child's ankle.

We Couldn't Have Said It Better:

"I'm expecting. Well, I'm not. That would be kind of weird."

- LeBron James on his soon-to-be-born son (and on winning an NBA Championship this year).

2007 Cavaliers vs. 2001 Sixers

I've been asked to justify my comment that this year's Cavs are surprisingly similar to the 2001 Sixers team that went to the finals and lost to the Lakers in 5, so here you go.

Both teams are comprised of one star player with one third-tier offensive sidekick and an old, but still solid big man. Iverson had Aaron McKie as that lame offensive right-hand man, Dikembe Mutombo was his aging center who teamed up with Tyrone Hill in the front court. LeBron has Daniel Gibson and Big Zundy Illgauskas with partner in crime Drew "Patches" Gooden.
An aside: Did Gooden lose a bet to Damon Jones? I don't get it.

Aaron McKie was a huge part of the Sixers playoff run. He played 40 mins per game and (gasp!) he shot 27/64 from behind the arc in the playoffs. That is pretty close to Danny Gibson's 23/50. I'm no mathemagician, but I think that makes the percentages 42% for McKie compared to 46% for Boobie. McKie stepped up when Iverson needed a breather and knocked down clutch shots, just like Boobie is proving he can do. Neither is an offensive superpower, but they provide necessary help to the star player.

Tyrone Hill was slightly worse than Gooden, he averaged 0.4 less points per game but 4 less rebounds. Mutombo, on the other hand, was still effective in his old age just like Big Z can be. He averaged almost 14 points and 14 boards a game. Just to total all that up, the Sixers front court averaged 21 ppg and 21 rpg compared to the Cavs front court which averages 24 ppg and 17 ppg. Additionally, both pairs of guys play in similar fashion. Z and Mutombo were paint players who tried to contest all the shots they could on defense (Mutombo was much more effective than Z is now) and Drew Gooden and Ty Hill aka The Big Ugly were sub-par offensive players who could step out of the paint and knock down the occassional mid-range jumper.

I mentioned Eric Snow was on both teams, but the more important part of that is he fills the role George Lynch played for the Sixers. Mike Brown can bring in Baby Face Snow for late-game offense/defense runs the same way Larry Brown used Lynch to cover Kobe for a possession then sub him right back out for McKie or Jumaine Jones. Both of these two teams were defensive-minded, and that was why they could survive with below-average offenses.

Finally, the big guns. Iverson vs. LeBron is the biggest difference between the two teams. Both are major stars, but only Iverson backed up that reputation. Iverson had 14 games in the playoffs with 30+ points. Those games include nights with 45, 54, 52, 46, 44, and 48 points in game 1 against the Lakers. Also, he didnt score less than 15 once. Not once. Especially not in the Finals. LeBron has only had 6 games with 30+ and the only 40+ game was that one spectacular night against Detroit when he dropped 48. Everyone crosses their fingers and hopes LeBron evolves into the next Jordan, but that's only because everyone is dying to see another MJ- someone who rises above the game and to the top of pop culture, someone who compells everyone to tune in to see what amazing feat he will do next rather than if he will perform an amazing feat. I was one of those people, but it finally hit me last night. MJ would NEVER, not as long as he had a breath in his body, get held to 14 points in an NBA Finals game. Iverson had a little of that, and that's why the Sixers won a game from the much better, much more complete Lakers. When I made my prediction, I was subconsciously hoping LeBron had that too, but it's becoming increasingly clear that he doesn't- at least not yet.

The Cavaliers didn't cover the spread, and they only got the score to single-digits with some open shots in the last 90 seconds of the game when the Spurs took their foot off the gas.

So yea, the fact that I'm a Sixers fan helped me realize the comparison, but the numbers don't lie. The 2001 Sixers and 2007 Cavaliers have many of the same traits, and thus many of the same faults. Neither team could deal with a dominating big man (Shaq or Duncan), and neither team was as complete as their opponent, in addition to their own individual blemishes. The Spurs will leave Bron Bron biting his nails on the sideline, wondering what it will take to not get swept.

NBA Finals Prediction

The Spurs are a 7.5 point favorite for game 1 of the NBA Finals, and that isn’t nearly high enough. We love LeBron James here at Hit Some Dingers, but there is just no way he can carry the 3,111 lbs. of deadweight that comprise the Cavaliers roster to anything more than one victory in this series. I don’t mean to make incredibly bold statements, but Spurs in 5. And to be honest, it will be really, really hard for the Cavs to get that one.

This time next year, Hollinger will have to update his megalist of “THE 30 GREATEST TEAMS EVER” to include these 2007 Spurs. I really think they’re the best non-Bulls or Lakers team I have ever watched. This team is stacked from bottom to (almost) top.

Tony Parker is a star point guard in this league and the glue of the Spurs offense. In spite of his terrible ideas (rap cd) and off-court issues that make us dislike him (giving his testicles to Eva Longoria as an engagement present), the Spurs need Parker. He gets the ball to the guy who is in the best position to score. He touches the ball more than any other PG in the playoffs. Also, he’s finally getting to the basket and putting it in himself, which is huge for the half-court style the Spurs play.

The two-headed monster of Michael Finley and Manu Ginobili is one of the most dangerous at the position. When Ginobili is on, he is nearly unstoppable. Only the Kobes and LeBrons of the league have better body control. Pairing him with Michael Finley and his deadly three-point shot (46% in the post-season) is a solid one-two punch. I know it’s easy to forget, but it wasn’t so long ago that Finley was an all-star in back-to-back seasons.

I hate Bruce Bowen. He is a dirty player and he is going to really hurt someone. I really hope that person is not LeBron James, and I wouldn’t put it past him at all to go out to game 3 (first one in Cleveland) and just try to take Bron Bron out. Somehow he got his 3-point percentage up to 46% in spite of his 38% regular season shooting. He doesn’t force shots or turn the ball over and he’s one of those cogs that every great team needs. He is a great defensive player and is the toughest matchup King James has had, but he will not shut down LeBron; he isn’t fast or agile enough.

I don’t even have to comment on Tim Duncan. TD is the best basketball player of the era. He’s consistent, composed, reliable, and every other positive adjective you would apply to any athlete. He is dominant on the post and anchors the Spurs defense like no one else in the league. I thank the basketball gods every chance I get that he isn’t a Celtic.

Fabricio Oberto… I said bottom to (almost) top.

Now, for the Cavaliers:

I only have 2 guys to comment on

Boobie Gibson is the Cavs’ second-best option. That is absurd for an NBA Championship team. Gibson is LeBron’s go-to guy, and that could prove to be The King’s greatest downfall. Unless the Spurs pay such close (and unnecessary) attention to him and open up space for LeBron, it’s going to be a short and disappointing series for Cleveland.

Ilgauskas is a shell of his former self. He’s shooting over 50%, but he’s also missing entirely too many open shots. Big Z is slow on help defense and he can’t rack up blocks like he used to. Z is hobbled by injuries and doesn’t have what it takes to work the inside of the San Antonio defense.

The Cavaliers remind me a lot of my 2001 Sixers. That team was Allen Iverson surrounded by mediocrity. He had an old, past-his-prime Dikembe Mutombo, Tyrone Hill who was very ugly like Drew Gooden and had a similar skill set, Eric Snow was on that team also, Aaron McKie was his Daniel Gibson- second in scoring, which was disappointing on its own. As everyone knows, that team didn’t perform too well. They stole one game from the Lakers, but that was only because the Lakers took them lightly in game 1. The Spurs are smarter and more experienced than that team was, and they will not get shell-shocked tonight. The Spurs will continue the trend of West-coast dominance we’ve seen all season and handle the Cavaliers easily.

The Sixers were killed by a great big man that year, and the Cavs will suffer the same fate. No one on that team can stop Tim Duncan, no one in the league can, and he will tear them up from the inside out. I do enjoy watching the Spurs, between Duncan, Ginobili, and Parker with Finley on the outside they are actually fun to watch. I just hope that the Cavs can keep the games remotely close and occasional flashes of greatness from LeBron James.

The Day That Was: June 6, 2007

The Phillies won 2 straight from the Mets and we're one day closer to both LeBron-ionship Game 1 and football season- so it's a good day for Hit Some Dingers. Wily Mo will send in his next piece any day now, he's a little late since he's starting and everything- big ups to Wily Mo. Now, on to The Day That Was:

Jerry Bruckheimer in talks to bring expansion NHL franchise to Vegas
If anything could get us to watch hockey, it would a team called the "Las Vegas Tits and Explosions."

Nadal still perfect at the French Open, 19-0
His trick? Just argue with the umpires, they're happy to surrender.

Selig wants Giambi's help in roids investigation
Claims Giambi: "When I said 'I was wrong for doing that stuff back in the nineties,' I was talking about the macarena."

Dolphins plan to trade Culpepper
Says a none-too-disappointed Culpepper, "Surprisingly, the boat parties were better in Minnesota."

Clemens set to debut on Saturday
After weeks of tense contract negotiations, Clemens' groin ends its long holdout.

Kevin Durant cannot bench press
It's okay, though, Greg Oden tripped over his evening gown.

Anaheim wins
Ecstatic Ducks players announced plans to bathe in a Stanley Cup full of national indifference.

Arizona repeats as college softball champs
And their pitcher repeats in my fantasies.

Ozzie says steroids investigators target Latin players
Marco McGuire and Jesús Giambi agree.

This banner could cost Ohio millions

The banner is still considerably less offensive than its predecessor:

We couldn't have said it better:

"He called me 'brother' and I called him 'brother'. We forgive each other, and we're back on track."

- Carlos Zambrano, during his audition for Brokeback Mountain, after fighting Jake Gyllenhaal. Michael Barrett will catch Zambrano's next start in Houston.

The Day That Was: June 5, 2007

We here at Hit Some Dingers took a long weekend, because we've been waiting by the phone wondering if Billy Donovan's going to come coach our 3-on-3 team. That being said...

Billy Donovan wants out of Magic contract to go back to Gainsville
Also demands trade from Lakers.

Odell Thurman in more trouble
Something about hamsterfighting, I heard.

Near Brawl at the Boston/New York sportswriters softball game
I haven't seen that many angry middle aged white guys in shorts at Fenway since last year's cancelled Jimmy Buffet concert.

Asante Samuel could sit until Week 10
...Unless the Pats give him several million reasons over several years.

Asante Samuel misses Patriots charity golf game, threatens to hold out longer
An angry Samuel was quoted: "I was under the impression the golf was to be of the miniature variety."

Trent Green traded to Miami for a 5th round pick
Kansas City GM Carl Peterson also got a bag of Werthers Originals in the deal. He considers it a steal.

Mike Tyson wants to do Bollywood movies
Answers our long-standing question: Can you outsource 'crazy'?

Shawn Andrews gets a new tattoo

















I guess EL are his wife's initials or something?

Corcoran walks three straight, including the walk-off run, as Jays top D-Rays
Sadly enough, this walk-off run alone is enough to make Matt Stairs want to enter the Hall as a Blue Jay.

Berkman tossed, comes back for bench-clearer
While running out from the clubhouse, he was heard shouting "Is Lance Berkman gonna have to choke a bitch?"

We couldn't have said it better:

"What I called is that you're going to see more black faces, but there ain't no English going to be coming out. ... [It's about] being able to tell [Latin players] what to do -- being able to control them. Where I'm from, you can't control us."

- Gary Sheffield, bashing Latinos like the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo didn't even exist.

The Day That Was: June 1, 2007

We've been watching Gladiator on TNT, but they cut out all the good parts. No decapitations, no swearing... and worst of all, at least if you're Michael Vick, no tiger stabbing! Anyway, here's some highlights from a slow day in the sports world:

Zambrano and Barrett have a scuffle in the dugout



Antonio Tarver claims to have been drugged before Hopkins fight
Tarver also claims to have a line of highly successful indoor grill appliances.

Steve Kerr to be named new Suns President
Rumors of a Scottie Pippin return are no longer far-fetched.

Man named Bob L. Head to be turned into Bobblehead
Insert Dick Army joke here.

Joe Torre ejected as Yankees win in Fenway
Torre explained his 'bad boy' actions, saying "Hey, it gets A-Rod laid."

Gary Sheffield suspended three games for throwing a bat
Due to the bat missing its intended target of the umpire, Sheffield also received an error.

MRI reveals no break in Mickelson's wrist
Phil vows to join with Michelle Wie to form crimefighting duo The Psychosomatic Putter Pals.

We couldn't have said it better:

"Now I just get to follow the freak show."

- Randy Messenger on joining the Giants and Barry Bonds' home run race.